Today was just another reminder of how patience it takes to raise my child. She came home from school, 5th grade. Happy and bubbly as everything, all day was great. When I ask her how her day was I get a reply of “school” with a question mark voice inflection.
As mom I wake her up that morning, thinking I’ll simply hand her diapers and clothes and leave. Little to my mistaken thought, the box of diapers was empty. Ugg how I used the last one when I came in about 1130 to disconnect her feeding only to find her soaked having to change her and bed. Exhausted I told myself I’ll deal with it in the morning.
Ta Da here we are again, I have to grab the box in the other room, find the box cutter opening the box, to merely grab one out – put the rest away “later.” Hearing the entire time my child crying and beating on her safety bed to get out to go to school. She has already started the day upset for my lack of preemptively putting the new box of diapers away.
The coffee isn’t even finished brewing yet. I’m getting Katelynn out of her bed to get dressed. As she was upset, the following directions to get dressed is non-existent. I dressed her. While playing and joking to get her smiling again hoping to forget my exhaustion mishap only moments ago.
She’s dressed I get her hair and teeth items set for her to continue the morning routine – Yea I’ve poured a cup of coffee and ingested a sip. Seeing the time, I know we must pick up the pace to meet the bus on time. I gather her food supplies and meet her in the living room. She has a hairbrush in her hands and mom likes to do a quick swipe for approval or pinup.
My child is tube fed via a MIC-KEY button 5 times a day and due to slow digestion, the times cannot be rushed. I know – I thought that too. NOPE. She eats every 4 hours which allots me some sleep now. Anyways, I digressed…
So, I get her all hooked up, send her in to get her shoes and I raise my coffee cup for another sip. I hear MAAA!!! [Katelynn’s version of Mom] So that sip turns into a gulp and throw my cup down. Get to her and can’t find her shoes. I have placed them in the same place for months now in preparation for school mornings. Crazy me, it took 5 years for her to merely don her clothes all by herself. Her shoes were placed, wrong feet of course, but she finds it comfortable. As a mom we must pick your battles, this was not one I chose.
I tell her to grab her backpack, I have prepacked it the evening before, and we rush towards the door. She gets in the car and sets off her feeding pump alarm. I stopped the car, fixed the alarm on her pump. Make it to the bus stop to hear, “uh-ho” from the backseat, simultaneously the bus backs into the designated pick-up location. I hang my head with defeat. The bus driver and aide said it’s not a problem we’ll take her and get her cleaned up. Embarrassment left years ago, I handed them the change of clothes I keep in the car and thanked them profusely. As the bus drives away, I exhale. I am exhausted. I feel all alone.